Tuesday, October 27, 2009

20 months and more

Zahraa is 20 months and a half now - going to be 21 months soon. I have always tot she is still very little. But when calculation takes place - wow .. she'll be 2 yo soon!!
Lately Zahraa changed, since raya, I noticed. She had tantrums now - and dine out would be a bad day for me. She also knows how to protest - just by make her body limbs.. I called this 'buat lembik' when she refused about something - there'll she go - buat buat lembik .. She really tests me lately.
And she now knows how to climb those chairs. So now she can play those stuffs on Zahrein's desk, and of course - every thing on the dining table. Yesterday, while we were praying, she climb those dining chair, took the water jug and pour EVERYTHING out of it. There goes sarsaparila on the table, chairs, and floor. To add into my patience challenge, she played with the water with her hands, and wipe them to her face!!! I seriously sembahyang tak khusyuk during Maghrib yesterday.
But I cant believe my self, how i was, and how calm Zahrein was yesterday. After salam, I just said - Zahraa, kenapa buat macam ni. PIck her, wash her hands and feet, and changed her clothes. And Zahrein, took the mop, clean the floors and say, 'Zahraa buat, tgk ni, Zahraa buat'. That was it.. we guess those are all parts and partial of having kids - having emergency clean up!

Hahahaha.. but that was not all, she is now also very sweeeettttt... came to give a hug and kiss, and make funny faces, and make cute gestures. :D And she can say more words now. Yesterday, she made a full sentence of 'Ma, nak agiiii... ' How cute. And more and more words came form her everyday. but of course her favorite word is 'Agi...' thats lagi, of course. Last nite, I showed her pictures and said 'Elephant' but instead, she said 'Gaaaa-jah'.

She is more and more excited whenever she sees animal. More than the last time I showed you all here.

Anyways, the fact that she is becoming naughtier everyday has been always been complemented with she being funny, cute and smart too.

I love Zahraa, everyday and always. I cant imagine my life without this lil being. Just by being her, she just wash away all my worries. The best thing she ever did to me - brushing away my tears - thats - unbelievably - so - sweet.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

raising a muslim child

I have always wanted to write about this, something like raising our kid as muslim - or - the early education for our kids, as muslims. Somehow, I read this blog, and the author has written it nicely; almost perfect. So, i want to share it here. May this bring benefit to all.

Raising a Muslim child is a great responsibility that requires a lot of time, effort, and du'aa. It also requires us to understand the vast differences between raising a good child and raising a good Muslim child who understands and practices Islam.

It is very important to note this difference from the first moment of our child's life, or even before his birth. This knowledge will help us obtain a clear vision about our goals and, subsequently, about the best ways to achieve them.

Some parents raise their children to be polite and respectful, without really connecting these virtues to the teachings of Islam. They teach their children how to respect grown-ups, because "it is the polite thing to do"; to be kind to younger children because "polite kids are not to be mean to little children"; and not to lie because it is "not good to lie"; and so on…

Though there is no doubt that it is virtuous to raise a polite child, is that all that we want? Is that our only goal?

By comparing one family who chooses to raise a good child to another family whose goal is to raise a good Muslim child, we will notice vast differences between the two.

If a parent's goal is to raise a Muslim child, he/she should start thinking about this child even before its birth by choosing a Muslim partner who practices the religion and who knows how to encourage children to be good Muslims.

In this case, the father and the mother should work together, from the very beginning, to achieve their goal. They will then be able to expose their child to its religion by following the Sunnah and the advice of the Prophet (SAW).

They will also connect good manners to Islamic teachings in a simple that implants the love and the fear of Allah into the child's heart. They will tell Islamic stories that help teach the child how to choose his/her examples and models. They will also be aware of setting good examples so that their child can have honorable role models.

Simultaneously, they will teach their children about "halal" and "haram" (permissible and forbidden) and "Janah" and "Nar" (Paradise and Hell). By that time, the child will grow up as a good Muslim who understands his/her religion. He will be ready to pray because he has seen his family praying and may have even stood with them in prayers at an early stage. They will not need to exert much effort in encouraging him to fast because they would have exposed him to fasting and Ramadan at a young age.

When this child grows up, it will be clear to him that Allah (SWT) has created us to worship Him and that this life is not an eternal home, but a place where we spend a period of time and are tested by Allah (SWT). Therefore, the child might be more prepared to be patient during painful moments and be more thankful in moments of happiness because his parents taught him that "iman" (faith) is divided between patience and gratitude and that life itself is divided between grants and tests.

But, does that mean that the Muslim family who practices Islam does not require a lot of time and effort when trying to raise a good Muslim child? Of course not.

Although it would be much easier for a family its members practice Islam and present good examples for the child, the family still needs to spend a lot of time and effort in order to achieve these goals.

Unfortunately, children cannot simply drink a cup of some miracle tonic and become good Muslims or learn about Islam. They need someone to teach them, talk with them, punish them, and reward them.

Therefore, it is our role, as parents, to connect our children to Islam from their early years of life. We cannot afford to wait until our children grow up to teach them how to love or fear Allah. We cannot wait and ask the imam in the masjid (mosque) or the teacher in the Islamic school to help our teenage son or daughter learn how to pray, or how to fast.

I remember seeing a father bringing his 15-year-old son to the Islamic school so that the teacher there could teach him about his religion. When asked whether he taught the son about Islam before, the father replied, "Never, but I think it is time for him now to start learning!"

He never taught him how to pray, how to fast, or how to read Qur'an. In fact, he had never taught him anything about Islam. He never took him to the masjid because he himself never went to there. And now he wanted the teacher to teach his son about his religion? Isn't it too late to start teaching Islam at such a mature age? How can that teacher show this teenager all that he has missed during the last fifteen years of his life?

The problem is that this is not an isolated case. Many schools and masjid complain about this problem. How can a teacher who spends about two hours a week with a child teach him how to be a proper Muslim? Where were the parents earlier?

Allah (SWT) has created human beings and blessed them with the longest childhood among His creations. We have a lot to learn about life, creation, and our Creator and what we learn requires a lot of time to learn, understand, and implement. Teaching and conditioning from childhood is our best bet at retaining all of the vital information provided to us by Allah. So, childhood remains the most critical time by which to set up an Islamic foundation.

However, Allah (SWT) also gave us the potential to change ourselves. He has granted opportunities and second chances to those whose parents did not raise them to be good Muslims; through His mercy and forgiveness, He has given us all the chance to start again. Though it is not easy to accomplish, with sincerity, azeema (back bone), and mothabarah
(persistence), all children can become good Muslims.

please read

Sungguh terharu... huhuhu please read :D

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

from one shop to another

i have been hopping from one online shop to another - looking at bags, wristlets, and diaper bags. It made me feel guilty, not working that hard - how does all these starts.. who to blame

Emails form girlfriends - that discuss fashions and stuffs..
- nope .. its not your fault dear -

Too many tempting online shop
- of course .. you ladies have got nothing to do with these -

My own self concious - of not looking great; my fashion dies; bad-wardrobe fever; 'bibik'ly feeling
- thats it. Its my self conscious -

Or.. was it the wedding incident then????

Monday, October 19, 2009

rumah anak kesayangan

Remember my post last Ramadhan.. about the iftar with the orphanage. Sorry this took sometime. So here's the adress that I promised.


As the Pengetua told me, there are all girls here, from 3 years to 17 years old. The pegentua said, sometime, its not all money that they need. Some time they need time, and most of all, they need knowledge.

So those who could give then some tution classes, please do help. And they also need someone to teach them sewing, cooking or whatever, so that they have some skills for them to survive living.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

cinta - jiwang mode

Bertepuk sebelah tangan saja tidak akan berbunyi.
Bercinta dengan yang tidak mencintai, akan menyebabkan seseorang itu kecewa dan merana.

Itulah lumrahnya apabila bercinta dengan manusia.
Tapi sebaliknya bercinta dengan Allah, Tuhan yang Maha Pencinta atau “Al Waduud” itu, cinta kita pasti akan berbalas. Bahkan ia diberi penghargaan dan disambut dengan baik.

Cinta Allah yang Maha Pencinta tidak memilih-milih siapa, rupa, gaya dan bagaimana keadaannya.
CintaNya boleh direbut oleh siapa saja, asalkan ia rajin berusaha untukNya.
Cinta yang tidak pernah luput walau sesaat malahan terus berkekalan.
Berbeda dengan manusia yang hanya cinta pada yang disukai dan diminati saja.
Cintanya pula bermusim dan tidak kekal.
Sewaktu-waktu disenangi dicintai, bila sudah jemu atau benci tidak lagi dicintai malah ditinggalkannya.

Isteri cintakan suami karena suami tempatnya bergantung.
Ibu mencintai anak karena anak itulah penghiburnya di kala sunyi.
Kawan menyayangi kawan karena dapat berbagi dapat merasakan senang dan susahnya hidup. Rakyat menyayangi pemimpinnya karena pemimpinnya menjadi penaung dan pelindung baginya.

Namun Allah yang Maha Pencipta mencintai hamba-hambanya tanpa ada kepentingan apa-apa. Allah hanya melebihkan kecintaanNya kepada orang-orang yang mencintaiNya,
sebagai ganjaran buat hambaNya itu.. Allah akan murka kepada orang yang mengingkariNya, yang sombong, dan memang tidak mau mencintaiNya.

Cinta Seindah Yang Diucap. Semua orang boleh mengaku dan berikrar bahwa
dia mencintai Allah. Tapi tindak-tanduknya dapat mencerminkan apakah dia benar-benar mencintaiNya. Dan Allah sendiri lebih tahu siapakah diantara hamba-hambaNya yang benar-benar mencintaiNya.

Orang yang benar-benar mencintai Allah sanggup berbuat apa saja karenaNya. Kalau terhadap orang yang dikasihi, suami dan lain-lain diberikan perhatian dan tumpuan, Sanggup berkorban apa saja, pastilah terhadap Allah lebih-lebih lagi…..Malah sanggup pula bersusah payah bangun malam untuk bertemu dan bercengkrama dengan kecintaannya.

Sedang orang lain yang sibuk bergaul bebas dengan kekasih hati, dia bermujahadah (melawan kehendak nafsu) menolak ajakan kekasihnya karena mengutamakan larangan Allah SWT yang kasihNya lebih utama.

Tanda Cinta….
Tanda seseorang itu mencintai Allah ialah dia beriman kepada Allah, bertaqwa, berkorban untukNya dengan melakukan kebajikan, sabar, bertaubat,membantu menegakkan agama melakukan ibadah yang fardhu dan rajin mengerjakan ibadah-ibadah sunah. Dia berkasih sayang dengan sesama manusia dan saling bersilaturrahim karena Allah, dengan menjaga batas-batasnya (),

saling beri-memberi karena Allah demi keridloanNya semata. Tidak karena yang lain.Allah melimpahkan kecintaanNya dan menempatkan orang-orang yang dicintaiNya itu pada kedudukan yang tinggi dan mulia di Akhirat.

Allah menjelaskan bagaimana cintaNya di dalam Al-Quran kepada orang yang sungguh-sungguh beribadah berbuat kebaikan dan yang berakhlak mulia.
Diantaranya Allah berfirman:

"Sesungguhnya Allah mencintai orang-orang yang sabar."
( Q.S: Ali Imran,Ayat:146.)

"Dan Allah mencintai orang-orang yang berbuat kebajikan."
( Q.S: Ali-Imran,Ayat: 134 )

"Sesungguhnya Allah menyukai orang-orang yang bertaubat dan mencintai orang-orang yang mensucikan diri."
( Q.S: Al-Baqarah. Ayat: 222 )

Untungnya Orang Bercinta.
Beruntunglah orang yang bercinta dengan Allah, karena mendapat perhatian,cinta dan kasih sayangNya. Istimewanya orang yang bercinta dengan Allah dan mendapat balasan cintaNya, seluruh isi langit dan bumi akan turut mencintainya. Dia menjadi kekasih Allah manakala orang yang
mencintainya turut mendapatkan kecintaan daripada Allah pula.
Orang yang mendapat kecintaan Allah akan hidup bahagia dan tenang ketika di dunia. Di Akhirat Allah akan berikan kebahagian yang kekal abadi.

Begitulah istimewanya orang yang bercinta dengan Tuhan yang Maha Pencinta.
Kita pasti tidak mau gagal dalam bercinta. Agar cinta kita berbalas, bercintalah denganNya,Tuhan yang Maha Pencinta…… dengan curahan cinta Nya yang Agung. Pasti akan mendapat balasan cinta yang istimewa
dariNya. Jangankan di Akhirat, selagi di dunia pun, akan terasa di hati balasan cintaNya.

Rasulullah pernah bersabda :-
Cintailah sesuatu itu sekadarnya saja. Karena Berkemungkinan ia akan menjadi kebencianmu pada suatu ketika. Dan Bencilah yang engkau benci itu sekadar saja..karena berkemungkinan ia akan menjadi kecintaanmu
pada suatu ketika.

blue turns pink

My bluey day turns pink, all because of this lil girl

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

10 years

Today is 13th October 2009. It is 10 years today that I lost my mother. But it still felt like yesterday.

I could still remember that night. A visit from mak ngah, who never visited before. I could still remember what my brother told me, and I remembered how I fell to the ground. The image of the rumah mayat Hospital Bentong is still in the box of my mind, with the fragile me looking towards my mothers body, Pak Su is beside her, reciting the Quran. So many people is waiting for me, I heard voices and voices and voices.. and someone says, ‘Boleh ke biar dia? Budak sangat lagi ni’ But I remembered I just hopped into the van, and sit by my mothers side, with the yassin in my hand. I don’t know what happen all the way, and all of a sudden, we are in font of our home. I was hugged, and brushed by so many people, but my attention was only to my mother.
I just remembered Ustazah held my hand and told me what to do. I was alone, Along was far chasing flights, Abang ran to see Ayah in the ICU HKL, and Uda, became numb and sit still by the wall. It is still fresh in my memories the look of my mothers face when I open up the black beg. Again and again I have to wipe the blood that drains out from the back of my mothers head. It looks like my mother is sleeping, no signs that she’s been hit by a trailer at all. I heard someone says ‘Bagila saya tolong dia ustazah, she is too young for this’ ‘Biarlah.. mak dia’ I heard Ustazah told back. My best friends and neighbors were there. All are watching me. I could only remember until the bathe part. My sister arrived, we waited for her to bathe my mother. After the bathe, I couldn’t remember anything else, until being at the cemetery. I remember my friends arrived, my classmates, teachers. I remembered hugging Mye and told her, ‘Mak aku dah tak de’ and she said ‘Shhhh Its ok’.

And then it ended. After the burial, I lost my mother, for the rest of my life.

My husband said, there are so many people losing families, mothers, and father.. I know that.. but losing them like that, was different to me. Some might understand, some might not, some tried to understand, some couldn’t. Thank you for all who has been there for me. Yes, it is a long 10 years, but I want this moment – to remember my mother.

I am thankful for the event, as it made me to be more grateful, stronger. May Allah bless my late mother, and father, and all muslimin in the world.

Friday, October 9, 2009

wearing hijab in Malaysia

I am poking a sensitive issue today, which might make some jumps, or even hate me. But it is my responsibilty to say it loud, as it is the duty among sisters of Islam to help others, and lead towards the right path. I am not that good myself, but why dont we all try together to be better each day...dalam mendapat keredhaan Allah.. kan kan???

Yesterday, Sakeenah wrote about her challenges of wearing hijab in Australia. It made me think, and it make me felt so grateful. How lucky we are, being a muslim in Malaysia. No one would hurt you no matter how you dress, no one would insult you - publicly - of how long your dress or hijab is. We can pray anywhere, almost anywhere. Alhamdulillah, there's not much challenges for us to perform ibadah. And alhamdulillah, proper dresses to cover your aurah are being sold almost everywhere.

While at some places in the world, muslims had to hide to pray, muslims had hard time to confess being a muslim, and muslims got insulted of how they dress. Muslims, had to survive being a Muslim.

Sakeenah had hard times wearing hijab for some time, and once and again, but she still wears it. And stands on proudly being a Muslim, and to fullfill all the syariah to be a good Muslim. But pity, here in Malaysia, there are still many Muslims women who still refuse to cover their aurah properly, even though there is no harm at all to cover.

I dont look down for those ladies of course, but I am more concern. I really hope and I'm praying that one day, they will be given hidayah to do so. Lets take a lesson from other Muslims from around the world, okay.

kitchen layout

I had headache to plan our kitchen, but at the same time had fun planning it. Here's a few layout I made, but there's none 'the' ultimate layout.

This is the original layout of our house, and the original dapur.

Kecikkan kan dapur ini?? Seems like cold in stall sink, and hob. A fridge will make it damn cramp.. and I dont know where to put all my stuffs.

This layout is the first one I made. it seems ok... but after building its 3D, it still look small, and lack of cabinets for storage, which I really need.

Then I decided that I dont really need big utility room, I might not have a bibik as well. so, I make it smaller, to give more area to the kitchen. But, I cant decide the lyout for this, so I come up with 2.

I quite like the second one.. minimal.. but there's a small island in the middle to keep those plates, and Zahraa can draw while I cook .. yeah.. But the circulation of the first one seems better, and with additional window at the wall facing dining area, I could transfer dishes thru.

But this last one is my favourite. I dont have to compromise the 4th room, yet the kitchen seems big. Only one big problem. The developer might not allow to move those walls up to the corridor..

Thursday, October 8, 2009

i like this building

Its nice isnt it?? So cool, and funky. But I forgot where did I get this picture from.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Cloth diapering jouney at stake

Farrah wrote an entry about cloth diapering, which she had experienced for years. She made a point, where I totally agree. That was about CD saves money... Hmm so far, I dont think they really did - especially me who is not full time into it - still sending sposies to nursery. And about passing it thru siblings. We havent manage to get Zahraa any adik yet, but some of her CD seems cant be passed, or to be sold. Some of them has lost its absorbency, and some of them make bad smell when being used. So the only good thing about Cding is - saving the environment.

But there's one hiccup in CDing I couldnt make stop - the rashes - Zahraa could not wear Cd for a straight 7 days. She will sure ly get the rash. Its either to alternate, or to wear 1-3 times only a day. I have tried so many tips given, and use the famous angel baby bottom gel - but still, it happens. This really make me dissapointed in with CDs lately. I still have to buy sposies and use it on her, and seems like I dont really succeed in saving the environment. And dont succeed neither in saving money. I lost in this case!!

And I have to confess that sometimes I hate it, when there is so many things to do in the house, and I am so tired from work, and still I have to wash those CDs, esp those with poops.. The excitement has lost, and now-every time Zahraa poops, I'll say.. what?? again???? and I'll go erggghhh.. - in my heart -

And another confession - I have stop Cding Zahraa the week before I had the D&C, till now - I forgot to try again.

Monday, October 5, 2009

mendidik anak mengenai ketuhanan

I am discussing some stuff the other day with my colleague, my cube neighbor.. then it came about teaching kids religious stuffs since the beginning. He told me something that I think everyone should know, a good info he got from ceramah somewhere.

Especially in Penang, where there are so many Chinese, and so many Chinese tokong, the kids will surely aske one day; "mama, orang tu buat apa?" when they see those non muslim do their sembah to their thingie, the lil red house.

Some might say this, which I think is so true most answered like this "Diorang tengah sembahyang, tu tuhan depa yang depa sembah tu"

Well, that is totally wrong, memang salah dari segi akidah.. nauzubillah.. and that parent yang cakap macam tu pun perlu beristighfar...

The God for everyone in the universe, is the same, Almighty Allah. Tidak ada istilah Tuhan saya, Tuhan awak. Semuanya datang dari Allah, semuanya Allah jadikan, yang satu hanya Allah. And if we say that, that means, we recognize the god that those non muslim serve to. Kita meniyakan tuhan mereka itu, atau mengakuinya sedangkan dalam shahadah, kita menagakui Allah itu satu.

Jadi, sekiranya anak anda ada bertanya soalan sperti di atas, jawapan yang sepatutnya ialah: "Mereka sedang sembahyang, tapi dengan cara yang salah, di tempat yang salah. Cara yang betul ialah seperti yang di ajarkan oleh nabi kepada kita".

Insyallah, semoga keluarga kita terpelihara sebagai muslim yang beriman.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


It looks like the construction of our house is about done. I think they are in OC application stage - I'm not sure whether they are doing the CCC or OC.. I'll give X Scan a call next week, I guess.. So, we are now busy planning to move in - and before that there are so many things to do.. oh no - looking for movers, clenaing up, renovating.. ouch.. I really need to sit and make a list. At the same time Zahrein is very busy with his work, so that leaves me alone to worry about the new home thingie. Of course I can plan and do all on my own -especially no problem if he provide all the cash :P heheheh - but of course I want him to agree with it, and I want him to know what I'm doing.

At the moment, I have made some layout to get quotation from the contractor. But, actually, I am not yet happy with what I did. .especially the kitchen part... being a 1300sqft condo, I think the propotion area given to the kitchen is too small, yet it is so hard to re arrange the layout, as it was made to be so tight - difficult to explore out. I think I have to work my ass more into it - or seek for more opinions, or sent the layout to some ID magazine to get free layout consultation.

So here's what I did during Ramadhan - cant render them.. my workstation wasnt equiped with the rendering software. Please excuse the materials, these are all I have in my library at the moment.

This is the kitchen if it were to be renovated bogger, imagine the original size.. ergghhhh.. this is not that big either.