Monday, November 29, 2010

6 weeks?

ha???????? already 6 weeks? and just another 6 weeks to go???

I havent got a lot EBM stock yet. Many more to collect!!!! (suspen!)
And Nasuha is not ready to be sent to nursery yet.

save our seafood?

S.O.S - Save our Seafood - thats what i heard. Watched nasi lemak kopi o last week and this campaign was brought up. And again, Mye mentioned it in our twitter conversation - she was in Sabah at that time.
What is it? Well, it sounds like we are saving the ocean life.. yes it is.. but - the campaign is also about not to eat some species of seafood! Well, could we?

Seafood has been one of our main food source all this while, all these decades. We have been eating fish and some other seafood for the whole of our life!! And I am quite shock to know about the campaign. You could read more here. From research, it was found that ocean life species has degrade. To naturalists, it is not a shocking news. Deforestation happened, and so many species were almost gone from the earth, it could happen on earth, so, for sure it could happen in the sea rite? Its just that we dont see it coming. For these animals, we were concern because we are worried we couldnt see them anymore, grandchildren wouldnt know what a pola bear is one day.

But oceanic species.. it was corals at first, and not everyone care - because not every one dives, and we dont live in the ocean - so.. be it. But fishes??? We eat them!!! We need them!!! Dont hunt and kill tigers, ok.. we are fine with that. But didnt eat fish????? How could we??

Yes, the campaign doesnt say dont eat all types of fish, there are only some species and some are still 'allowed' to eat. But those 'labelled' as to be avoided are most common species that we were havig all these while. Those are like, siakap, kerapu, pari, terubuk etc etc. huhuhu how could i not eat siakap?? Zahraa loves them, and its the easiest to cook! (ok, lame excuse)

Here's what to avoid from S.O.S

Recommended Think Twice Avoid
Lala clam (Peninsular Malaysia, Hand picking) Longtail shad (Malaysia, Drift gillnet) Silver pomfret (Malaysia, Trawl)
Anchovies (Malaysia, Purse-seine, Lift net) Carpet clam (Peninsular Malaysia, Dredger) Black Pomfret (Malaysia, Trawl)
Yellow banded scad (East coast PM & Sabah, Purse-seine) Sea cucumber (Malaysia, Hand-picking) Ray (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Oval squid (Peninsular Malaysia, Trap) John's snapper (West coast PM & Sabah, Hook & line) Threadfin breams (Malaysia, Trawl)
Longfin grey mullet (Malaysia, Drift gillnet) Fourfinger threadfin (West coast PM, Bottom gillnet) Dorab wolf-herring (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Tuna (Malaysia, Purse-seine, Drift net) Flower crab (West coast PM, Bottom gillnet) Flounder (Malaysia, Trawl)
Indian mackerel (Malaysia, Purse-seine, Drift net) Red snapper (East coast PM & Sabah, Hook & line) Silver Sillago (Malaysia, Trawl)
Spanish mackerel (Malaysia, Drift gillnet, Hook & line) Banana prawn (Malaysia, Bottom gillnet) Indian squid (Malaysia, Trawl)
Hard-tail scad (Malaysia, Purse-seine, Drift net) Coral grouper (Sabah & Sarawak, Trap) Needle cuttlefish (Malaysia, Trawl)
Mangrove red snapper (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage, Pond) Seabass (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage) Mud-spiny lobster (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Humpback grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage) Tiger prawn (Peninsular Malaysia, Pond) Slipper lobster (Malaysia, Trawl)
Giant grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage) White-leg prawn (Peninsular Malaysia, Pond) Humphead wrasse (Sabah, Cynide)
Snubnose pompano (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage) Brown-marble grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage) Mantis shrimp (Malaysia, Trawl)
Blood cockle (Peninsular Malaysia, Bottom culture) Bigeye trevally (Malaysia, Trawl)
Green mussel (Peninsular Malaysia, Rack) Brownstripe red snapper (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Oysters (Peninsular Malaysia, Rack) Coral trout (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Mud crab (Peninsular Malaysia, Pond) Duskytail grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Orange-spotted grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Malabar grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Sixbar grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Trawl)
Orange-spotted grouper (Peninsular Malaysia, Cage)

The gradation of fish, and ocean species are mostly caused by those greedy modern fisherman. Bot tunda, and those method that uses explosives to get fish are the main culprit - and we are the victim now.

I am not sure yet whether to support this campaign. They say, we should do this for 2 years, till the species bundled up again. How do we know??? We need fish!! Or at least I need those siakap!! Believe me, the prices of these fish will be doubled up after this. (naik harga lagik???)

Monday, November 22, 2010


I feel like... shopping..
hmm nak beli apa?

Barang Nasuha - bottles, clothes, stuff nk bwk nursery

Barang mamanya - byk! Hahahaha - nursing blouse, nursing bra, some new clothes, handbag, tudung bla bla bla

Well.. barang nak beli banyak. berangan je la... hahahahahah

Monday, November 15, 2010

zahraa and nasuha

Zahraa seems to be more interested into Nasuha compared to the first week being intoruduced to her. she loves to touch Nasuha's about to grow hair, her cheeks and eye lashes.. and of course..dah sampai tahap geram dia picit Nasuha! We had to watch out now..
Zahraa still does not understand of the changes having Nasuha around.. Of course she is just 2, what do I expect? We just had to remind her again and again to be gentle with adik... and that part 'Zahraa, dont shout... adik nak nak tido' - is never understood... hahahah so I have to deal with putting Nasuha to sleep again and again.

the challenge of having two kids - to put them both to sleep!! Sometimes both wants to sleep at the same time, some other time both scream and cry and the same time.. ( I wonder, and salute moms with twins..) some of the days Zahraa wont sleep till I settle down, and of course I cant do that till Nasuha is put to sleep.. most of the days, I cradle Nasuha in one hand, and pat Zahraa with the other.

The moment I love most - is to sleep in between these two girls, both are sleeping and i'm staring at them... alhamdulillah.. what have I done good till be blessed with these two angels. (tapi kesian.. zahrein kena cast away from the main bed... )

Their similarities - suka dipeluk.. and suka tido in our arms .. i think all babies are like that. I do know some babies just lie and sleep all day long, lucky their moms.. but in some ways, babies who sleep in mothers arms are lucky babies... oh yes, i'm tired, body ache, name it all, holding them all day long.. but in the end, I am glad and I am happy.

To my unmarried friends, and to my friends who are still waiting for an angel to cherish their marriage, I do hope and pray that one day, you'll be blessed with a healthy child, a boy or a girl, who would turn around your world and change the true meaning of life. Just like my kids did to me.. Amin....

Monday, November 8, 2010

Zahraa's pose

This is what I did with Zahraa - pre-delivery .... haha this is so funny... Dia kacau saya kemas baby cot, wants to be in it.. and then nak posing pulak, and ask me to capture her pictures..

second time around is not the same

Alhamdulillah, its my 20th day of my confinement, almost halfway right? At some times, i felt like it flies fast...cant remember how I felt when Nasuha was 1 day old...and at some other time, I felt like it has been a loooongggg month (this is the longest day of my life; imitating Jack Bauer of 24).

I am up and well again.. alhamdulillah.. I can help with some of the housework now, can read to Zahraa again, can watch tv together again.. heheh and most of all... can blog again! I am bored surfing the net, using my E72.. and I cant blog thru the phone (imagine I could... I wonder how much blabss would I write).

It is different this time as I spend my confinement in our own house, when I gave birth to Zahraa, I was 'sent' to KL to spend confinement at my in laws. And I had a bad time...missing Zahrein most of the time, dunno what to do with crying lil Zahraa... and post partum blues was a long one for me.

So we decide to confine here! And guess what!! Post partum didnt leave me alone!!!! it did swept me thru until the 2nd week! What was it about this time.... ???? Its about Zahraa! I missed Zahraa so much, yet she is there, right in front of my eyes.. I cried everytime she went out from the house, I cried when seeig her sleep... my excuse was i pity her... i thought its a pity that she already had another sibling, yet she is still a lil girl, and need all my attention. And I miss dressing her up, holding her, playing with her, colouring, giggling, and watching tv together.

Until my bestfriends wakes me up, reminding me it was the same with Nasuha and Zahraa. Nasuah was liltle now, so I cant do much together with her, but once she was up and bounce, I can share the whole world with her, just like I did with Zahraa... The happiness I had with Zahraa will be double up with lil Nasuha, that was what they assure me.

And yes, that makes me think again.. maybe it is all true enough, and I am being all emosional all by myself..Zahraa is doing great with her abah, spending time they havent had before. I should just let them bond, and let Zahrein go thru the sweet times that I had all this while with Zahraa. And I am suppose to be fair to Nasuha, she needed to be known to be well loved, she is now glowing to show me what she had to offer.. I am now suppose to take this time-being alone with her, to get to know her and fall inlove with with this new baby. Oh, I am being selfish all this while, am I not?

Yes, second time around is not the same, of course.. because I am different now, and its a different child. Every child is different and unique on her own. Zahraa is different, and Nasuha is special on her own too. It is so not fair comparing one child to another. Whoever the child is.

Now, since I am healthier I hope to spend time for both of my girls.. taking advantage of this leave to be with Nasuha, fulfilling with her needs.. and at the same time, cuddling with Zahraa again, sneaking in between times when Nasuha is asleep.

I hope I could do this, to be there for both of my girls. Our world has change now, with Nasuha it in, just hoping its a happier and more blessed life, Insyallah.. may Allah guide me and help me get thru this.

And post partum blues... I might say goodbye to you soon enough.. sooner than the first time .. because... the second time around would never be the same ........

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

labor story

For all mommy bloggers - well.. most of them.. - labor story entry is a must.. As it might be shared with someone out there.. or its just to be kept written - just for ourselves to remember.. only because - labor story is very special for each person....

I have been on leave since the 14th, doc told me I am 1cm dilated and could be delivering my baby any time soon. However, Zahraa was on high fever. At that time - even though the feeling of wanting to get the baby out is soooo obvious - I just hope it wont happen.. not until Zahraa is well.. Then Zahrein fell sick too. Losing his voice... Oh no! At that time, all I was thinking was to get this 2 to get well... While actually at that moment, I cant sleep every night.. I am having those contractions already... I was up every hour, to feel it... But, it seems to be gone during the day..

On monday the 18th, Zahraa was up and well.. and my husbands voice is back again - I said.. ok.. now you can azan and qamat nicely rite? He just laugh at it.. He kept calling from the office, and work from home on some of the days, worried that I might be delivering.. All I said was.. I am still okay, dont think I will deliver. I just knew. But then my husband said; you keep having all these pain, why dont we just go and see Dr Yeap, on Wednesday, let her do what she wants to do with you.. I agreed, and said - Nak induce pun tak pe la... I couldnt stand this waiting anymore...

Wednesday night - 20.10.2010 -

I cant sleep a wink.. its very obvious. This is it.. this is the pain I am waiting for.. But its still 1 hour apart. When subuh arrived, i told my husband, its here.. the pain is here. Ok.. he got all geared up, getting ready - while I said : Alaa.. relax la.. belum lagi.. its 1 hour apart lagi.. buat la kerja apa dulu. settle kan all you issues..

6.40, 7.09, 7.35, 7.45, 8.00, 8.05, 8.30

That was the time written on that piece of paper on our fridge - my timing!

We sent Zahraa to school at almost 9, then went straight to Pantai Hospital. At 9.30 I was at the delivery suit, the nurses wonder why I was there, as my due is still 3-4 days ahead, and I have no show yet. Told them I had contractions every 20 minutes. My doc request them to do a ctg test on me.. and there, in the labor room, waiting, with my husband. He said : Alhamdulillah.. today is the day! He's so confident... hahhaha... suddenly, at 10.15 am.. I shivered.. said - Oh no... its so painful, I am totally in pain... ouch ouch ouch.. my sister arrived, reciting doa and holding my hands - (she was crying.. errggh.. that is what she always does... breaking me...) Told her its okay.. i have to go tru this, like every mother does.

Ctg test ended at 10.30 am, showing I have contractions every 10 minutes that lasted about 20-30 seconds. A matron - told me to go to my doc clinic.. what????? She said - we might not know if she'll be warded today.. before the nurse takes me to the clinic, my husband said to the matron: she'll be surely deliver today. (the nurse who pushed my wheel chair kept apologizing)

My doctor have me checked - at 11.30am.
'You're 4 cm already... and its already thinning, in fact very thin.. why dont you come earlier???' And I was so in pain - suddenly. 'Ok, you are ready to deliver today, lets walk you to the labor room (pushed on a wheel chair was what she mean...malu nya naik wheel chair) and i'll pop you water bag in a short while.. that will help you dilate faster.'

But, on the way to the labor room - (yeah.. again) - I felt a water gush from in me.. 'What's that? I'm wet.. I'm leaking... ' The nurse told my doctor that I've broke my water bag. I panicked, never had this before.. 'Its ok, thats a good sign, you wont be long', my doc says.. then telling the nurses to prepare me and she'll be back in 40 minutes.

MY sister was then chased out of the labor room, no sisters allowed, they told her.. (haiyaa.. just teld them you're my mtoher laa) I was changed to the blue hospital dress, and the 'prepared' me.. well.. err.. you know.. for the birth. And then my husband came in, back after registering and everything. Telling me my sister is waiting outside. She wasnt there when i delivered Zahraa, so this was like a first time to her...

12.00 noon - the pain was so obvious. Oh.. very very painful.. its different this time.. I keep on breathing.. trying to practice those breathing technique - from the book Adriana lend me, just add those doa at that time I exhale - a technique I invented myself.. hahahahha... I asked for the painkiller this time and they shot my butt.. but that seems nothing.. arggh nothing at all!!! (masa Zahraa sempat tgk tv nak tunggu dilate)

12.30 pm - I was shaking .. shivering.. and all of them u name it.. but this time I wasnt complaining that much compared to Zahraa's time, even though it is more painful. I just tried to take in everything, relieve them with doa and breathe.. I was checked and told I am 8 cm - 'this is fast' the nurse said, I asked for the gas.. errghhh lega sket bila dapat... with the gas, i felt time moves slower now.. and I was high with it.. felt dizzy and sleeply.. my husband hold my hand and recite Quran.. I am so dizzy I dont know what verse that was. The nurse told me to called them, if I've feel like a passing motion coming. After sometime I let go of my husband hand, just so i can squeeze the bed frame - i need somehting stronger to hold on to, every time the pain comes.. I was shaking and shivering..

I dont know exactly what time.. but maybe 1.15, because my husband came back from Zuhur. I ring the bell.. Kenapa? my husband asked .. I said.. I think its here. Nurses came in.. asking why.. told her I'm having a passing motion feeling.. then a matron came in.. she said she thinks I am full, VE was made then ( I hated VE!!!!!!)' Oh.. you are fully dilated dear.. you can push anytime you are ready'.. and then there goes nurses buzzles preparing whatever tools drapes and bla bla bla.. took my gas away (heeyyyyyy I want that) The doctor came in, and said 'no need of that gas, I want you to concentrate' I said 'Its not coming yet.. I can feel it moving down'

In less than 2 minutes I then said 'Ok, its here...' Then as in most cases, or almost similar with what u see on tv... they'll be voices of nurses and the doctor telling me to push, and how to ... most that I hear comes from the matron 'You push like u want to berak, hard like you havent berak for 3 days' - I wnated to laugh actually.. hahahhah but that really directs me.. I didnt know how to push when I delivered Zahraa.. this time i kinda get the idea... 'Yes, you are doing it right, just a bit more...I can see your baby coming, you can do it this time, come on.. ' I can hear my doc said. 'Yes, a bit more' But I have issues my my breathing.. I have short breath and it's not enough to slide my baby out..

By the time my doc said 'yes, your baby is coming, good, you're doing very well', suddenly I had my leg cramp! 'My legs!! Left one.. its cramp!!!' Nurses ran to my left side, massaging, trying to release the cramp... 'Its ok.. relax and take your time.. and continue whenever you are ready..' Later I hear the matron says 'Dont we wanna help her with vacuum or something?' (oh yess.. I can hear that dear nurse.. please do..... ) 'No, you can do it.. you dont need help, its already halfway thru, check the baby's heart rate. this time i want you to try do it on your own. youre doing very well'

Then this came from my mouth - ', its here..' and I went all the way in one breath erggggghhhhhhhhhhhh and blab! the baby was out, and was suddenly on my belly... 'there you go.... good job, good job' 'See... you're doing well... see, your baby is just fine' All I could say is 'Alhamdulillahh...... ' and then just realize my husband is patting my shoulder and head.. 'Tell me whats your baby' the doc said... weak - I said .. a girl.. I had a girl... and tears of relieved came by. It was 1:51 pm.

And after that - I was given another shot-concurrent with the plasenta being pulled out. Given the gas again, and the doctor then working on - stitching me!!! Ouch ouch.. this time it was also painful! The baby was brought in for me to nurse her...but i was so high on the gas I couldnt do so....

At 2.40 pm... I was done.. The doctor told me that was a good one, fast smooth delivery (yearrighttt.. who knows how 'smooth' the pain was.....) and bla bla bla about my stitches, and bla bla bla something burst, open wound.. bla bla bla.. i was high.. and tired....

And that was it.. alhamdulillah, my husband then came in then told me the baby is perfect and healthy. She is 3.1 kg. Only after that I realized it was different delivering Zahraa. This time, no iv drop wire attached to me.. not even the ctg thingie.. I am actually free without being attached to anything... and not much gas as Zahraa did.. and most of all - no vacuum...

And so.. welcome lil Nasuha to the world.. thank you Allah for this opportunity - to have given birth again ..we've seen and felt how Great You are...

Monday, November 1, 2010

a new addition

Yet to announce in this blog.

Yup, alhamdulillah.. i have given birth to a healthy baby girl in Pantai Hospital Penang, on the 20th October 2010, at 1:51 pm. Our 3.1 kg baby girl is healthy, measured at 51cm long and we have named her Nasuha bt Zahrein.

Our long wait has ended, and we are so glad to have this new addition inour family.. gosh i feel so blessed.. and most of all relieved that the pregnancy is over. Being pregnant is fun tho, i admit.. but towards the end.. i am tired and felt uncomfortable.. with the uneasiness feeling, impatient to meet the baby, worries of the baby's well being and others-makes me feel so much better when it ended.
ALhamdulillah, she is now in my hands.. well..

So, meet our girl.. NASUHA!

So it looks like my life is going changed now, with her in it now. And I am curious about it..being able to handle two girls? I am going on a ride to find love with Nasuha, insyallah as I did with Zahraa..

** Do you think she looks like Zahraa? Sometimes I think she does.. but most of the times - I dont think so...